"Did you ever feel like an alien who somehow became stranded on a planet called Earth where nothing seemed to make any sense?" A quote from "Ming The Merciless"
Recovering from civilization can be brutal but neccessary if we are to become truly free from it's influence. Kick the civilization habit here!
The Buddha said that we own our actions, that we are the heirs of our actions and that we are defined by our actions. This is in fact a perfect definition of personal responsibility, but since most humans occupying the planet today are obsessively focused on obtaining that which pleases them and avoiding that which doesn't please them, there is bound to be a conflict for which we must take responsibility. But this also means that bad thoughts lead to bad actions which lead to bad consequences which we are also responsible for. But this won't do in a self serving world. So how do we get around this? How can we avoid this whole responsibility thing?
The Buddha's words are true in the real world and there is no changing that. But we can replace the real world with one of our own creation and convince ourselves that it is the real world. Hey! No problem! The human species has become exceptionally skilled at manipulating our own perceptions, usually in ways that are pleasing and comfortable for us as we languish and decay in the dangerous delusions of la la land. La la land is a conceptual reality built entirely from the thoughts of our mind which we deceive ourselves into believing is the actual real world of actual real experiences when in fact they are only thoughts organized into structures we call ideas. An idea of reality is not the actual reality, we cannot smell, touch, taste or feel an idea.
To carry out the greatest global deception of all time, we must first create another delusion which I like to call ETE the extra terrestrial ego. This will not be the true us, but rather another conceptual construct of us, an idea of us that we need in order to shield us from the truth of our deceptions. Once ETE is created and we believe that it is actually the real us, then we have a barrier between us and the ever present possibility of coming into contact with the real actual world. This ETE will then begin to build us our perfect reality and it will be built from greed, hatred and delusion, perfect for our self serving needs. This barrier is the event horizon of our mind. On the one side we can be aware of the activities of our own mind, where our attention is residing at any given moment in time. On the other side our attention is captured by and consumed by the ETE version of the world and life in it.
The event horizon is the point of deception where we give power and vitality to the real or the fantasy by virtue of the attention and focus we apply. This is also of course a subtle indicator of our personal creative power being misused. But now we have a reality that allows us to believe whatever is convenient to getting what we think we want and like when we want it and avoid dealing with what we think we don't want or like. Great!
Self deception is only mental gymnastics designed to manipulate our awareness and has no power to actually change or effect actual reality in any way. Our consciousness is being altered, not reality itself. The act of deciding to live in an imaginary reality will not actually change the truth of the reality of consequences, we only place a vail of deception over our eyes so the consequences are not visible to us. But there is a price to pay for maintaining that vail of deception, the avoidance of consequences has consequences of its own.
The price of the great deception is stress, tension, pain and disease. We must tighten our musculature in order to maintain the numbness necessary to avoid the truths that are held in our physical body. No, thoughts do not exist in a vacume, they have collateral physical counterparts and they must be suppressed right along with our awareness of the truth, and the cost is high. Yes, we may be getting what we think we want, and yes we may be avoiding what we think we don't want, but sacrificing the precious moments of our life in the real actual reality that is taking place right here and right now, the feel of life, the taste of life, the sounds of life, the smells of life that make up the rich tapestry of each present moment in time is much too high a price to pay for the illusions of comfort and convenience.
There is a great free e-book that explores personal creative power here.