"Did you ever feel like an alien who somehow became stranded on a planet called Earth where nothing seemed to make any sense?" A quote from "Ming The Merciless"
Recovering from civilization can be brutal but neccessary if we are to become truly free from it's influence. Kick the civilization habit here!
What do we mean by self confidence? What do we mean by success? We toss these words around and use them in our communications with each other as well as the thoughts in our own mind, but do we really understand what these concepts really mean? What does self confidence have to do with success and what does success have to do with self confidence? Do we really know the answers to these questions or is our understanding based on traditional assumptions that may or may not be the result of our own ability to reason things out?
The law of attraction states that things of similar nature will be attracted to each other. So, successful activity will attract more successful activity, but how does this happen? And if success attracts success, does failure attract failure? And if so, why? This all has to do with mindsets, how they are created, and the behaviors that are based on those mindsets. While mindsets are fundamentally simple, their implementation and expression can get complicated. While our mindsets are heavily influenced by our core beliefs, they are actually built by the simple process of conditioning which is the repeated exposure to anything over a period of time, and that includes thinking patterns.
So, if we had a core belief that went something like 'I don't deserve happiness' and in our civilization happiness is associated with successful achievement of material gain, then we have an unconscious programmed limitation working against us. The belief that we don't deserve happiness indicates another core position that has to do with self esteem and our basic perception of ourselves. Such fundamental belief systems are reflected in the mindsets which are the basic guidelines for our behavior and the daily conduct of our lives.
Self confidence and low self esteem don't usually live in the same galaxy. Self confidence is a key ingredient to any positive successful activity. Self confidence is our faith in ourselves and the abilities necessary for successful achievement. Success can be a relative evaluation based on quantitative, qualitative or even arbitrary criteria. But if we define success as the positive result of activities designed to achieve a desired objective, then failure can be a successful outcome for those who seek to reinforce their limiting core beliefs that they don't deserve success, or happiness.
Since both success and self confidence are based on mindsets and are in fact sub mindsets themselves, and since our mindsets are heavily based on our core beliefs, and since core beliefs are just that, beliefs, and since our beliefs are based on the thoughts produced by the activity of our own mind, and since we are something that has a mind rather than something that a mind has, we can determine what thoughts populate our mind, and therefore can choose what we decide to believe in and therefore what our mindsets will be built from and therefore what our lives will be like. It is called creative power and personal responsibility.
Simply put, this means that if we discover that we have negative perceptions of ourselves that are producing unwanted results in our lives, we can take back our lives and reconfigure ourselves in more positive ways that will produce the desired results. Our power to make choices is just one part of the enormous creative power that is the birthright of every Human being. It is true that each success builds on the previous success and each success helps to build self confidence. But what if we have limiting beliefs working against us? How can we deal with those?
The big problem with core beliefs is that they are difficult to wrap our mind around because they have long ago become unconscious and automatic behaviors. But with some firm intention, self awareness, commitment and determination, we can undertake a strategy of reverse engineering our behavior. The first step is to begin developing the ability to observe our own thoughts, then, as you attempt to achieve a goal, you will start to become aware of the negative thought patterns that arrive to sabotage your success.
Thoughts like 'this is impossible!' 'I can't' 'who am I to have this?' 'this just isn't right!' 'can I do this?' Always be on the lookout for questions about your basic ability to do anything. These are not the thoughts of a success oriented mindset. Each time you encounter these negative thoughts replace them with positive ones and with the help of a little meditation, in time, the core beliefs that underlie these negative thoughts will bubble up to the surface where you can begin to replace them with more positive and productive thought patterns.
The success mindset doesn't ask 'can I do this?' It asks 'how will I do this?' The success mindset doesn't entertain doubts concerning abilities and outcomes, it is too busy doing everything possible to achieve success. All thoughts are designed to support and achieve success and are therefore positive. If they fail to achieve the objective, the success mindset set out to determine what mistakes if any, they made and where, in order to correct them and try again.
There is a great e-book that explores success failure and power here.