Some people seem to be completely confident about the results of their efforts to achieve their goals even before they begin, while others seem to have confidence but only achieve limited results for their efforts. Some people feel confident all the time, while others only feel confident about certain things at certain times under certain circumstances. How can self confidence manifest itself in so many ways? Is this one of those cases where some people know something that others don't? Or is this about individual personality makeup and internal programming?
Does our self confidence come from outside of us or inside? Does our confidence depend on time, circumstance, location, mood, or does it come from a source within ourselves that has nothing to do with such external phenomenon? It is obvious that self confidence can manifest itself in a wide variety of degrees and under an equally wide variety of conditions, which leads to the questions of why? What determines whether we have total confidence all the time under all circumstance, or just occasional confidence, and is that determination dictated by influences beyond our control.
It is clear that the person with total self confidence gets that confidence from within him or herself. This comes from high self esteem and a strong self image and self identity supported by a positive and optimistic mindset. And if this is so, we also have the answer as to why others do not meet with the same level of consistent success. But what is it about self esteem and self image that can have the power to sabotage our successes?
The dictionary defines sabotage as the destruction of property or the obstruction of normal operations. If true self confidence resides in our perceptions concerning our ability to deal effectively with reality, then if we encounter difficulties in these efforts we can suspect a saboteur, and of course that saboteur is the insidious and corrosive concept of doubt. Tracking down this particular saboteur is not always easy because it often disguises itself as reasonable caution and other concepts that are acceptable to our conscience.
While it is wise to question just about everything all the time, there are some areas of human experience that should not be questioned once set into place and our basic ability to function is one of those areas. We can evaluate our performance regarding particular tasks or achievements in order to fine tune our ability concerning certain undertakings but not our basic ability to carry out appropriate task at appropriate times and places because this attacks our fundamental perceptions of our self worth and value which are inherited by birth and do not depend on performance and outcomes.
As mentioned earlier, self esteem, self image and self identity are heavy players in this area of human behavior but there is a layer of influence that exist even deeper than these, where core beliefs and mindsets are formed and exert their influences on all aspects of our lives. These constitute our basic internal programming by which all of our thoughts, feelings and emotions are configured. This is a global source since any changes made here will propagate across our entire experience of what we call life.
If our core beliefs, which are usually formed during early childhood, include small but significant chunks of code that reads like 'i am not capable' or 'i can't do anything right' or similar negative proclamations, the likelihood of self doubt creeping into any attempt at achievement will be high. But this can also be selective depending on the messages or code that is running on the core belief level which will also determine the basic mindset that we use as a kind of preliminary instruction manual for how to deal with life in general.
In an ironic twist, the very activity of questioning which precipitated the problem in the first place, is part of the solutions here. But we must be clear. Doubt is the result of the inappropriate application of our ability to question, whereas activities such as investigation and exploration for the purposes of self improvement is an appropriate application of this ability. Questioning the validity of our basic internal programming is no cake walk but is sometimes necessary whenever we identify behavioral problems that operate on an unconscious level. Though this may be difficult, it is not impossible and much will depend on just how much you really want to change those behaviors, how committed you are and how much determination you can bring to the effort.
The objective is to identify and replace negative and limiting beliefs with positive and empowering ones. Replace all beliefs that result in low self esteem which deals with your feelings of self worth and value, you are worthy and valuable by birthright, remove all interference with that. If you have to completely rebuild your self image and identity then do it! And no, this is not going to happen overnight and any such expectations are a set up for failure so don't entertain them at all. Be good to yourself, find the love in your heart that is reserved for you and feel it!
There are tools and techniques out there that are designed to help us deal with undertakings such as this. Meditation, affirmations, creative visualizations, yoga, self talk and self hypnosis are a few, and each one brings its own strength and power to the table. Some may fit your individual personality better than others, some may be easier for you to use than others. Don't be afraid to mix and match and test fly them to see what works for you. You can also try the easiest solution first, which is hypnosis. This allows you to work with the behaviors that you identify and want to change without getting into the area of core beliefs directly.
You can begin your journey of self awareness by changing the behaviors that are preventing your success here.